Tuesday, November 14, 2006

In defense of unemployment

Why is it that unemployment gets such a bad rap? In essence, it's basically a life without responsibilities to an employer who doesn't give a rats ass about you. There are other ways to make money in this world. Plus, if you've got a mountain of unused crap in your house, your trash could be someone else's treasure. Not only is this a money making venture, it's a liberating experience to rid oneself of all the peripheral stuff we accumulate.

I've put a lot of thought into this and I seriously think I'd fare better in life if I were unemployed. Here's my list of goals and accomplishments:

  1. Get through my Netflixes faster. I just started to get into Point Pleasant, which is heating up to be interesting, but it's slow going only because I have a job.
  2. Finish The Others, Lost puzzle #2 out of 4. I finished The Numbers in about a week, after which I thought I could complete a puzzle a week and finally be able to flip 'em over, connect them, and read the special message on the back. But, every effing piece in The Others is some shade of jungle green and they all look alike! I've clearly put this on the back burner, since I don't have time to complete it...because I have a job.
  3. Go to the gym...regularly. Now there's $49 a month that I'm totally wasting. (Yeah, I'd like to say it's because I have a job, but I don't think that'll fly in this category.) I totally could've bought this beauty by now.
  4. Read books again! Isn't it completely ironic that I work with books and have no bleeping time to read them? Between manuscripts, proposals, newspapers, magazines, and 3 dozen blogs, who has time? I'd read bound books again, except I have a freakin' job.
  5. Clean up my iTunes library. There are about 3,000 exclamation marks scattered throughout my library, and I simply haven't had the patience or time to fix this. I know I'd get around to this if my job would stop getting in the way.
  6. Stop deleting my Google news alerts. Yes, I know I have the option of receiving these less frequently, or not at all, but they're important and I just don't have time to read them. This is my way of finding out if Portishead is ever going to get off their asses and record a new album. Of course it sucks that there's an actual town named Portishead and that I end up reading about every cricket game and car accident from that neck of the woods. I'd totally read my news alerts regularly if I were unemployed.
  7. Scrapbooks! I'm that person who saves brochures from last summer's MoMA exhibit and every movie ticket with my better half because I swear that one day I will construct the ultimate scrapbook to record and commemorate every little thing we've done together. Yeah, I'm still working on the one from my Paris trip of '99, but I know I have the creative power to do this if I only had more time. Damn job.
  8. V-I-D-E-O-G-A-M-E-S. Wtf? I've been waiting years for Kingdom Hearts 2 to come out and I haven't even finished the game? This is soo my job's fault.
  9. Make new friends. (Yeah, just kidding.)
  10. And finally, FINALLY I'd tell certain people to go fuck themselves! Ok, so technically this one is really an effect and not a cause, because I clearly wouldn't have a job if I pulled a #10. But man, this effect would feel so good.

Well, one could argue that this post was more in defense of retirement than unemployment, but hey, it's a lifestyle choice. It's either that or a pretty shitty day that makes you feel like you'd rather be picking lice out of a baboon's ass than getting out of bed only to get shafted day in and day out. Yeah, one or the other.

3 comments:

moonrat said...

Umm, yeah. I've been unemployed for almost 7 hours now and let me tell you it feels GOOD!

Bluenana said...

Wait a sec. What do you mean "unemployed"? Are we talking unemployed in the sense that you're temporarily freed from the bonds of work (a la vacay, floating holiday) or unemployed as in threw in the towel?

Anonymous said...

A little bit of column A, rather precipitously approaching column B....