Jack Bauer on Dysfunctional Families

Seriously man, you can NOT let your brother torture you three times in three hours. That just makes you look bad.

So, I guess when your brother won't give you the information you need, you bring out the big guns and shoot him up with sodium penathol for that good ol' burning sensation throbbing through every vein in your body. Pause, and then shoot him up with two more ccs.

And if that doesn't work, you let your dad finish the job for you.

Anyone remember that drug commercial where this kid's dad looks in his son's closet and finds a box full of pot? Then the dad indignantly shakes the box in his son's face and asks him, "Who taught you how to do this stuff?" And the son weepily says, "You, Dad! I learned it by watching you!"

So, in 24land, Jack's Dad indignantly shakes the syringe of sodium penathol in Jack's face and asks him who taught him how to do this stuff. Yeah, according to last night, Jack learned it by watching his dad. (I'm being purposely vague here because I hate accidental spoilers.)

Talk about a fucked up family.

Jack Bauer on Family Loyalty

If your brother puts the entire country at risk of nuclear attacks, turn him over to the feds before he turns you in. If he won't go willingly, tie him up with more electrical wire, suffocate him with a bag, rinse and repeat.

Jack Bauer on sibling relationships

If your brother won't give you the information you need, punch him in the face, tie him up with an electrical cord, and interrogate him. If he continues to resist, suffocate him with a plastic bag. Then rinse and repeat.