In lieu of a bake sale

Dear Pretty Pretty:

I'm so sorry I failed you as an owner. I'm sure you're hurt by my absence and have managed to form a union with your 99 other comrades in my closet. Why, you ask, are you one among so many different bags? Messengers, totes, purses, slings, and doctor bags? It's my failing as an ADHD bag-aholic and I'm sorry.

You may also be pissed at me and wondering why I'm photographing you and posting you on eBay, but I promise you that this is for the best.

First, you deserve a more attentive owner, someone who will fawn on you and wear you everyday. It's been ages since many of you have seen the light of day and a new owner will give this to you.

Second, and probably something you don't care much about, is that I need money. Weddings are expensive and this paycheck only goes so far. I'm sorry.

Third, I just have too much stuff. Perhaps it's a tinge of Buddhist reflection in my Catholic life, but I feel a strong need to streamline my life of belongings.

Don't worry, Pretty Pretty. I'll make sure your new owner has a high, positive feedback score and I'll definitely pack you snug as a bug for your postal trip.

Remember that I'll always care for you from afar.

(WEEP)

Fondly,

Blue