Showing posts with label wedding. Show all posts
Showing posts with label wedding. Show all posts

Wednesday, April 25, 2007

I won something...again?

Ok, seriously. This is just getting a little ridiculous. I won something from the wedding show last month and this one is for real, though I'm admittedly far too squeamish to seriously consider how I want to use it.

I won $300 towards a laser hair removal procedure and I have no idea what to do with this. Well, I do know what I'd like to do with it. It'd be nice to not have to buy refills for my Venus or Schick Quattro razor at practically $3 a blade, but I know these blades are cheaper than any laser hair removal process. I mean, even if I did just my armpits, I'm sure it's waay more than $300.

In essence, I won a coupon to use towards something I can't afford. Lovely.

Couldn't I have won one of those fancy wine dinners at that restaurant by the water? Or the ginormous flat screen TV? Shit, I'd take the fuckin' crystal toasting flutes at this point. This whole winning thing is like having luck, but no luck.

Monday, April 23, 2007

I won a fake vacation


Sigh and double sigh. I received two voicemails on Thursday and Friday from Simplicity Gourmet congratulating me that I won a vacation from a raffle I entered at the March liweddings.com wedding show. I tried to call back late on Friday, but it was way past office hours and I knew I had to wait till Monday to find out what this was all about.

I called back this morning and was told that they'd call me back when they were in the NY-area again because I have to attend a 90-minute cooking show in order to qualify for the prize: an 8-day condo stay in the U.S., Europe, or Mexico. That should have been a red flag for me right then and there, but I needed HB to clear my head and help me realize this is just a pyramid scheme. Fuck.

I guess it was a waste of time to daydream about spending our honeymoon in Aix en Provence, or some such beautiful place like that.

Sigh.

Thursday, March 22, 2007

How to get fancy meals for FREE

One word: tastings.

Whether you plan on getting married or not, I highly recommend you follow these directions:

1. Pick a friend of the opposite sex (or same sex if you live in Massachusetts) and establish your wedding details: engagement date, wedding date, how many people you plan to invite, and whether you plan to have the ceremony at the reception site or at another location.

2. Do some research and make a list of fancy reception halls you want to visit. Call them up and tell them you're getting married (gush and squeal) and ask to make an appointment to tour the place with your "fiance."

3. Visit each reception hall (gush and squeal) and tell them all about your wedding. They'll ask you all sorts of questions, so stick to your prepared information otherwise they might sniff out a freeloader.

4. At the end of the tour, tell them how much you LOVE the place and that you'd love to set up a tasting soon.

5. Reservation is made, so all you have to do is show up. Nice places will pull out all the stops to impress you and gain your $20,000 business to their fancy wedding establishment. All you need to do is leave a gratuity for the waiter, but a $10 tip is a small price to pay for a few hours of finger-lickin' goodness.

Why HB and I never thought to try this back in college when we were always broke and looking for a free meal, I have no idea.

Sunday, March 18, 2007

Busy wedding bees

HB is here visiting me and we're going to embark upon a photographer search for the next two days. Among the shortlist are:

  • Merri Cyr (we're meeting at Union Square on Tuesday! #$%^&*&^%$#!!!)
  • Modern Wedding Photography (the wedding slideshows were the first photos I've seen that made me cry)
  • Sherwood Triart (photographers to the unfairly rich that wed in Long Island. Not sure why we're meeting with them)

So, for the next few days we'll be busy, busy bees, or shutterbugs, or something. Hopefully we'll come out with a clear idea of who we want, but suspect this may take more research. I'm not going to jump into Merri Cyr's arms without doing my homework first! (Or without her autograph.)

I seriously need an intern. I plan to post an application here on the blog soon.

MERRI CYR EMAILED ME!

Holy shit. Merri Cyr, like, totally emailed me back and said that she's free on 8/3/08 and would be very happy to travel to Queens and Long Island.

CAN YOU BELIEVE IT?? I'm seriously losing my mind!!

So, would it be totally inappropriate to bring my copy of A Wished for Song: A Portrait of Jeff Buckley and ask her for her autograph??

Saturday, March 17, 2007

Merri Cyr could do my wedding!!!???

For any Jeff Buckley fans out there, this is big.

Merri Cyr, famed photographer, and photographer for every beautiful photo of Jeff Buckley you've ever seen, apparently does weddings too!!

Of course, her photos are beautiful, but shockingly her prices are pretty much on par with other photographers HB and I are considering in Long Island.

I've sent her a message through her site and I'm currently waiting (seriously) with bated breath for a response. In the meantime, I'll continue to freak out in the privacy of my room.

Monday, March 12, 2007

In lieu of a bake sale



Dear Pretty Pretty:

I'm so sorry I failed you as an owner. I'm sure you're hurt by my absence and have managed to form a union with your 99 other comrades in my closet. Why, you ask, are you one among so many different bags? Messengers, totes, purses, slings, and doctor bags? It's my failing as an ADHD bag-aholic and I'm sorry.

You may also be pissed at me and wondering why I'm photographing you and posting you on eBay, but I promise you that this is for the best.

First, you deserve a more attentive owner, someone who will fawn on you and wear you everyday. It's been ages since many of you have seen the light of day and a new owner will give this to you.

Second, and probably something you don't care much about, is that I need money. Weddings are expensive and this paycheck only goes so far. I'm sorry.

Third, I just have too much stuff. Perhaps it's a tinge of Buddhist reflection in my Catholic life, but I feel a strong need to streamline my life of belongings.

Don't worry, Pretty Pretty. I'll make sure your new owner has a high, positive feedback score and I'll definitely pack you snug as a bug for your postal trip.

Remember that I'll always care for you from afar.

(WEEP)

Fondly,
Blue

Sunday, March 11, 2007

Dirty Dancing, UK Style

OHMYGOD OHMYGOD OHMYGOD. Perhaps it's the wedding hormones that are rushing through my body thus making me incapable of finding this ironic, lame, or even a tiny bit obnoxious. This is the cutest first dance at a wedding that I've ever seen.

Saturday, March 10, 2007

Skating rink diamond rings


Why can't I stop reading liweddings.com? Seriously, I think it's a bad influence on me and poisonous for my mental health.

Since Nikki chuckled about my comment on Long Island princesses and their skating rink diamond rings, I thought I'd induce a few more by sharing these bad boys:

I could go on, but I really must sleep. If anyone other than me enjoyed this, I might do a followup because there's plenty more where that came from.

Thursday, March 08, 2007

The Long Island Tea Party (the bitchy review)

As some of you have already heard me bitch and moan about, I wasted an entire evening yesterday attending a "tea party" thrown by Perfect Wedding Planner. Truly, I didn't know what to expect. I was told that there'd be tea, petit fours, finger sandwiches, and other teensy weensy nibblies all for free. Obviously, I was sold, so our banquet manager made all the arrangements for my appointment.

My mom and I arrived 30 minutes late because no one believes me when I say exit 36N on the Northern State Parkway. Eventually, we apologetically enter the pristine halls of Fox Hollow and are quickly and quietly ushered up to the PWP office. Inside is a room of 6 women sitting around perfectly modern glass tables with fancy teapots and Viennese trays of untouched caloric goodies. Of course, I'm surrounded by fuckin' size zero Long Island princesses who only consume hot water with lemon.

James, a PWP wedding planner/coordinator and our speaker for the evening, is animatedly waving his arms while he talks about the importance of planning your wedding just so and doing things just like this and using just these vendors. I quizzically look around the room to see all the ladies bobbing their heads in perfect unison to the beating of this bitchy diva's wedding bible.

Up goes my arm.

Me: James, if you're having an outdoor cocktail reception, how is the sound of a single violin player going to carry in the open air and with the commotion of a crowd? According to Wedding Chic, it's always too animated and noisy during the cocktail hour for music, so you should either skip it or have your DJ set up a speaker for some background music off a CD.

Pure disdain as he looks at me (for the first time since I entered the room) and says,

James: Well, I always position the violin player at the entrance to the cocktail hour. Even if you can't hear it throughout the space, you'll enter to a lovely sound.

Me: Well, obviously my reception is here at Fox Hollow and the entrance to the cocktail reception area is not all that far from valet parking. Won't it be too noisy?

James: In that case, I'd highly recommend a steel drum band.

I could have said, "Are you fucking kidding me? A steel drum band during the cocktail hour prior to a formal reception?" but I didn't. It became clear to me who I was dealing with.

Later in the presentation James talks about how there's only one style of wedding photography these days and the key word is "photojournalism." "Oh, what's that?" one silly, retarded bride says as I snort and chuckle under my breath. Up goes the arm again.

Me: "James, photojournalism has been a popular style of photography for several years now, so I think it would be more helpful if you could explain how one should go about choosing between photographers. Everyone calls themself a photojournalistic photographer these days, but there are dozens and dozens to choose from."

James: "Well, it's simple. Just choose from the four photographers we recommend in our brochure."

Ding! It's become perfectly clear to me now that this is all one GIANT SALES PITCH. Well, in that case, I'm not going down without a fight. I proceed to ask a series of more difficult questions, all of which make him look like a flustered buffoon, and his answers for me become more dismissive. There were a few moments when I felt minor victories, but all in all the evening felt like a losing battle. I hate that I'm so desperately approval seeking because if I weren't, I probably wouldn't be so worked up about this.

Had I known that this was going to be like sitting through a presentation for a time share, I wouldn't have bothered. And, had I known that I would be in a room full of Other Brides (or Stepford Brides, as Nikki so cleverly dubbed them) who made me feel like a beached whale salivating for chocolate covered strawberries and sugar for my rancid Lipton tea, I most definitely wouldn't have bothered. And finally, had I known that the presenter would take every opportunity to shame me in a room full of women with skating rink diamonds on their left hands, I would have run screaming for the hills.

In closing...

Dear James:

You took the wind out of my sails, you pompous, arrogant queen. Just because you have a surface knowledge of the wedding industry does not mean you should take it out on me and make me feel like the bad seed in the class, the upstart with the questions, and the geek with the pocket protector. GRRRRR!

Screw you,
A Bride with a Brain

Them's are fightin' words

Careful bridesmaids. If any one of you cross me, you may end up wearing this:




Tuesday, March 06, 2007

My mom won a diamond necklace!!!

Tonight my parents took me to the "biggest bridal showcase in Long Island" to explore our photographer/videographer/DJ/band/limo/flower options and of course, some free cake. As we were parking at the Marriott in Melville, I jokingly told them that there were two main reasons we came tonight: a $10,000 prize for a bride and groom and a $1,000 diamond necklace for a mother of the bride. "You hear that, Mom?" I said, "You could win a DIAMOND necklace tonight." The last thing I expected was that we would win anything, least of all one of the grand prizes.

I know everyone feels this way about their mother, but my hardworking, arthritis-ridden, aches and pains mom deserves some shortcuts in life and a little ease and comfort. However, in lieu of all that, I think she'll take the diamond necklace.

So, here's how it happened:

The MC announced that he had two prizes for two mothers of brides in the room. (Excited cheers.) He called the first name and the winning mom squealed and made her way to the stage. He called a second name--Lynn DiGregorio--and no response. He called the name again and there was some commotion, so it seemed like Lynn was in the room, but she wasn't coming to the stage. After a few more minutes the MC said, "Lynn, are you here? I've got another name here, so if you don't come to the stage I'll have to call the next name." No Lynn.

He called, "C******...I don't want to butcher this last name." My heart lept! My eleven-letter last name's AKA has always been "I don't want to butcher this last name." Could it possibly be my mom? Finally, the dear ol' MC calls out our last name and I scream, "Mom, you won!!!" I usher her onto the stage and take this super excited picture of her:


I'm so happy for my mom and I can't stop saying so! Excuse the mushiness, but seeing my mom this happy was worth way more than a $10,000 prize.

Sunday, March 04, 2007

liweddings.com

This website has been quite invaluable to me in the wedding planning process so far, but I've held back from signing up for an account and participating in the chat forum. I now know why.

Since signing up with liweddings.com at 7:49 pm last night, I now have 26 spam wedding emails at 3:42 pm the next day. Crap. Yeah, that may not sound like a lot right now, but just give it time. Spam follows an exponential curve no matter what you do, which is why I abandoned by AOL account.

But yet, I couldn't help but want to announce our wedding in the forum in the hopes of finding my "date twin." There are tons of people getting married on 8/8/08, for obvious reasons, but no one other than me and HB for 8/3/08. Fox Hollow actually holds two parties at a time, but I'm starting to see that our date is not all that popular so far. Who knows, maybe we can have the place all to ourselves if everyone decides to get married the following weekend.

Well, the other thing holding me back from signing up for the liweddings forum is my innate fear of other brides. The Other Bride is so much smarter, so much savvier, and so much prettier than me. The Other Bride was born to get married and doesn't need the big purple 3-ring binder wedding planner, the books, the worksheets, and the magazines that I refer to everyday. Oh, the other bride.

Friday, March 02, 2007

POLL: To eat free food or not to eat free food?

That is my question. Here's the rewind:

HB and I have settled on Fox Hollow, contracts and all, so we're all set with the reception hall. However, all the other places we've visited don't know that. In fact, they've all called/emailed to ask when we'd like to set up a tasting.

All of the other places we've seen had very appealing menus, so I wouldn't mind a taste. But, is it right or wrong to take free food from other caterers when you've already signed contracts?

Please advise in the comments.

Pretty, pretty wedding dress


There's one thing that I can guarantee about my wedding dress. There will most definitely be some princess pouf involved. I saw this dress at a bridal fashion show over a year ago, but I still love it. And I still love the fact that HB's sister volunteered to take me to the fashion show, even though there was a nor'easter, and even despite the fact that she had a baby--I think--two weeks ago and wasn't feeling all that well. Seriously, people. Good bridesmaid material.

Saturday, February 24, 2007

It's official: FOX HOLLOW!!!!

OHMYGOD OHMYGOD OHMYGOD. We signed the contracts today and it's all official. HB and I are getting married on 8/3/08 and the reception will be in the super pretty big ballroom at Fox Hollow.

The Garden Terrace is g-o-r-g-e-o-u-s and this photo doesn't do it justice. The cocktail hour will be in an outdoor reception area with a private garden, or it'll be in a smaller ballroom in case of bad weather.

I'm on Cloud 9 today, people. I'm really, finally, seriously, totally getting married!!!

Friday, February 23, 2007

The sad, sad guest list

With this whole wedding business, I'm getting exposed to new wedding jargon that I find myself using in everyday speech. Here's the term that's bothering me the most these days:

Guarantee: the minimum number of guests that you agree to pay for at your wedding reception. This is a number that you have to be confident about because if you slip below your guarantee on the night of your reception, you still have to pay for the minimum number of guests. Also, you can't just pick a number out of thin air. Ballrooms have a maximum number that they hold and a minimum. Usually the site will pick the guarantee number and you need to meet it. Argh, it's all a tricky business.

I find myself completely depressed because I don't know if we'll be able to meet the guarantee to use the super pretty, big ballroom at Fox Hollow. What happens when two antisocial wallflowers get married? Their families use up a majority of the guest slots because Wallflowers 1 and 2 don't have enough friends. It's a sad, sad situation. The difference between The Garden Terrace and the Colonial Briar Fox is like the difference between Jacques Torres and Russel Stover. (That was for you, Moonie.)

Sigh. I want the pretty pretty room.

Thursday, February 22, 2007

Valen-Presi-tine-dents Day

What better way to celebrate (rescheduled) Valentine's Day than by visiting potential wedding reception halls? If I knew it would be this much fun, I would've started all of this a couple of years ago!

We visited four places, but only two are left in the running. As I type this, in my heart, I think I'm near a decision. In descending order of awesomeness:


The food is definitely the main attraction here. You'll walk in and be greeted by white gloved servers holding silver trays of champagne and strawberries. A hostess will lead you into the cocktail reception where more white gloves will pass around crispy lobster rolls, sesame shrimp kebobs, coconut chicken, saffron rissoto cakes (and more), and there will be hot chafing dishes full of beef bourguignone, roasted duck, fried calamari, chicken francese (and more) , cold displays of fruit platters, cheese spreads, all kinds of breads and vegetables, and tables and tables of more food. Oh, and, let's not forget the open bar. AND AFTER ALL THAT, you'll enter the ballroom for the dinner (choice of 7 (!!!) entrees) and there'll be music and dancing and more open bar and general happiness. (Can you tell this is our favorite?)


The beautiful grounds are the real seller here. In the spring and summertime, there'll be flowers upon flowers. There was a sad, single swan out there (Marty) and his mate has gone missing. We're all very, very sad about this. Plenty of food, though not nearly as decadent as Fox Hollow. It's so pretty, even without all the flowers, and I must show you a picture:

3. Chateau La Mer

Obviously, by the water, but seriously overhyped. I wanted to visit CLM only because so many brides on the liweddings.com forum were raving about how gorgeous this place was, but I didn't see it. The food is abundant here (they offer guests a second entree and the bride and groom receive all four entree options for dinner), but I think it's to make up for the fact that they have psychotic seagulls flocking the piers.

Ok, rewind. We showed up at CLM about 30 minutes earlier than our appointment, so we decided to drive down by the pier to see the view of the Long Island sound. There were dozens of seagulls everywhere lounging around the empty parking lot and my mother felt sorry for them. She thought they needed to be fed. So my father rolls down the window and tosses a couple of peanut butter crackers out the window, when suddenly every seagull on the pier flocked to our car. It was a scene out of Hitchcock's The Birds. We were so freaked out that we drove away--quickly--and when I looked in the rearview mirror, all I could see were seagulls chasing after our car.

Yeah, this didn't make the cut. Here's a scary seagull that was staring me down from the hood of the car:


4. Woodbury Country Club

18 acres of beautiful, manicured grounds surround this reception hall, but it was all very blah. And oddly enough, the most expensive. Nothing worth mentioning.

That was my very very busy Valen-Presi-tine-dents Day.

**Of course, for more photos, check out my Flickr.



Thursday, February 08, 2007

Sorry hugguhbear!!!!

So, I created a Google Group tonight devoted to wedding planning and I invited a bunch of people from the wedding party to join. Funny thing is, I forgot to invite the groom. D'oh!

I'm so sorry! I'm publicly announcing my stupidity in the hopes that you'll let this one just blow over.

Sunday, January 28, 2007

Oheka Castle


...and from the annals of Where I'm Not Having My Reception, I present you with the 2008 price quotes for Long Island's super posh Oheka Castle:

April through October 2008 (peak)

Site Fee:
Monday-Thursday: $7,000
Friday: $10,000
Saturday: $12,000
Sunday: $10,500

*PLUS*
Minimum # of guests and prices per person:
Monday-Thursday: 125 people at $200pp
Friday and Sunday: 150 people on Friday at $250pp; Sunday $270pp
Saturday: 200 people (they may take 175) at $320pp
*PLUS*
18% tax and 22% gratuity.

This whole wedding planning business is pretty stressful and the prices for everything are upsetting, but these were so far out of any normal person's budget that I laughed out loud.